Thanks, Brad

Last night I was out by myself so I had the radio on. I heard a song by Brad Paisley that I've always liked... "Letter to Me"... in which he sings about what he would tell his 17 year old self. That got me to thinking. If I could go back in time, what would I tell myself at seventeen?

What a depressing exercise. It was full of Don't do this... Avoid that... and on and on. I thought of Frank Sinatra and his "Regrets? I've had a few. But then again, too few to mention."

Seriously? I've got too many to list!  Just about the only things I wouldn't do differently are the Big Three: What Faith to Convert to, Who to Marry and Having These Children.

But here's a slightly less she-needs-therapy version...

Dear 17 Year Old Jennifer (8/3/1987),


Shut up, yes you are thin enough. One day you'll look at that skirt and wonder how you ever got in it. But you might want to lower your hemline a couple of inches. Your skirts are too short. You're not going to believe this, but bell bottom jeans are going to come back into style, only this time they're going to call them "boot cut". Honest to goodness, you'll actually buy a pair.


Look around you. There are some really wonderful classmates that you should be getting to know better. Conversely, one of your bosom buddies won't even give you the time of day at your ten year reunion. Some folks get too big for their britches (even the boot cut kind) but others you don't expect will become your Facebook friends. Don't ask me to explain Facebook. Oh, but you know that portable telephone idea you had? It gets invented!


Your suspicions are right... this relationship with your high school sweetheart isn't going anywhere. It's time to let it go and focus on having a fun senior year without that stress hanging over you. In fact, forget about boys for the next few years. Take your college studies much more seriously. Nurture your female friendships, even if you have to drive around the country to visit them. In twenty years when you need someone to sit with your sick baby overnight, it will be your girlfriends who step in to help.


Right now go around to all of your classmates to whom you've ever been less than kind.  This could take a while since you've been in the same district since kindergarten.  Sincerely ask for their forgiveness.  Forgive those who were ever unkind to you.  I know there were plenty but consider how unhappy their homelives seemed.  I'll grant you one exception... your 6th grade teacher.  The day you graduate from high school go find him and tell him what a mean m.f. you think he is.  You'll regret it if you don't.


I guess there will be one guy you'll need to date because it's through him that you'll meet Pete.  When you do meet Pete it'll make things a lot easier on everyone if you'd recognize right away that this is the man you're going to marry.  But do not... I repeat, do NOT agree to move out of state with him.  Insist that you stay in Cincinnati. 


You can quit eating carrots out of a desire to preserve your perfect eyesight.  At the age of 40 you'll get bifocals.  They're kind of cute, though. 



When you spend time with your grandparents, go home and write down everything they said.  Look them in the eye and really see them.  Cherish every moment you have with them because the years before you're reunited will feel very long without them.


Don't sweat the small stuff and it's all small stuff.  (Someone else will make that up.)  I know it all seems so important now but it just isn't.  In 25 years you'll be standing before a woman who just lost her teenage son and trying to find something... anything... to say that is of any value.  Then you will learn how insignificant your worries are, bifocals and all.


Just a few more things... invest in a company called Microsoft, keep practising your Spanish, wake up early on September 11th, 2001 to pray most earnestly and on that June day in 2008 when 13 year old Michael comes to you complaining of a tummy ache, do not give him Tylenol for his "stomach flu".  Get him a CT scan STAT!


Don't worry, hon.  Despite lots of regrets (and a much cleaner life than Sinatra's!), you're going to have a pretty awesome life.


XOXO,
Yourself at 41