Limitations of the Written Word

Behind the scenes of this humble blog I have a gizmo that indicates how many visitors stop by and where in the world they are located.  It doesn't tell me who stops by, but sometimes it shows what brought them here... whether it was a link on another blog or if someone Googled "small town".

I noticed today that I had a number of visitors from a Catholic site.  I decided to re-read my latest post to see what they would see and I was disturbed by the realization that I didn't sound very Catholic.  This jumped out at me when I re-read the parts about being pregnant three years in a row and losing one of the babies.  I'm afraid I sounded a bit cavalier and ungrateful.

The thing is, those who know me know that I am anything but cavalier and ungrateful about those pregnancies.  They also know that I tend to be somewhat sarcastic.  Not the mean spirited, attacking others sort of sarcasm but the self-deprecating, fatalistic kind.

So I wonder... if someone doesn't know me, mightn't they read me say that in 2008 I got pregnant and lost the baby, so that autumn season was no fun and think that I'm shallow and heartless?  While those who do know me know how overjoyed I was to have been blessed with another child and how deeply I mourned her loss.  And still do.

Here's my little addendum for my new visitors:  Hi!  Welcome!  I just want you to know how very thankful I am for those three pregnancies.  They were a gift and worth every sacrifice.  The physical sufferings and the grief of loss were offered up for the conversion of sinners and for the poor souls in Purgatory.  The Lord can not be outdone in generosity, of course, and those autumn-wrecking pregnancies led to my two beautiful little boys and my precious St. Veronica, who I intend to meet someday.

And now I wish I had worn waterproof mascara today!